Counseling for Women

Thoughts That Don’t Stop.

Last night her husband said the words from across the table at their favorite restaurant, “You look really great tonight.”

Tamra heard the words but thought she heard him pause halfway through his statement.

And that pause sounded like the REAL truth. He was only saying it to make her feel better.

But DID he pause? Did she really look great? Tamra had always struggled to accept compliments so maybe he WAS being sincere. She just didn’t know.

What will everyone think of me?

Today at work Tamra was in a rush and sent an email that went to everyone in her department.

It was only meant for her boss but now everyone can see that she’s stupid and unprofessional.

The thought kept looping in her mind, “What will everything think of me?”

Tamra thinks she’s just not good enough.

Tonight, Tamra will be entertaining her husband’s sister who will be bringing her perfect kids and her perfect husband and talk about her perfect life.

And even though her sister-in-law is nice, Tamra thinks she can hear the condescending tone that reinforces how much better her sister-in-law’s life is than Tamra’s life.

Or, is it all in her head?

Self-esteem operates at the core of life.

Low Self-Esteem can show up in your life like an insidious monster whispering inadequacies in your ear.

You react with hostility and compare yourself to others. You use blame (on others or yourself) as a solution that doesn’t solve anything.

You overly compare yourself to others and feel worthless or unwanted.

It’s hard to be motivated and you’re sensitive to criticism as though it means complete failure.

Thoughts, feelings, and behaviors create your reality.

Self-esteem is simply a set of beliefs you hold about yourself and how you perceive the world around you.

It can determine your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors and affects your relationships, career, and overall quality of life.

The following are some of the ways you know that your life is being guided by low self-esteem:

• You engage in self-harming or dangerous behaviors like substance abuse or unhealthy relationships. 
• Depression or anxiety are frequent experiences causing you to isolate or be overly sensitive with others. 
• Fear of failure drives your behaviors that often lead to sabotaging good opportunities or ruining healthy relationships.
• Your go-to thoughts are negative and reinforced by people who respond to your quick temper and self-anger.
• You allow abusive people into your life because you believe, “You deserve it,” leading to guilt or shame.
• You struggle with authentic intimacy and settle for the mechanics of a close relationship without the substance of closeness.
• You make assumptions that others will not like you, want you, or see you as worthy of their attention. 
• You long for the approval of others and go out of your way to create positive impressions. 
• You have difficulty starting or completing tasks and goals.
• You “nurture” others beyond your capacity then resent them when you don’t receive their appreciation or love.

Here’s how I can help you can get low self-esteem under control:

I offer a safe place for your sacred secrets

This is difficult stuff and you’ve probably been hiding your inner feelings for a long time. I offer unconditional acceptance and a place to spill your guts without judgment. Your sessions will become a safe space for you to connect with the source of those burdensome emotions because they’re trying to tell you something important. Maybe you ARE worthy – let’s check it out. Maybe you ARE capable – let’s try it. And yes, you ARE lovable so let’s find the baggage that’s been dragging you down. 

I use well-proven tools and a plan

It’s important to describe your struggles. But that’s only the beginning. l’ll help you clarify how you got here. Then, we’ll identify and name that insidious monster whispering inadequacies in your ear. I’ll use an agile approach with the tools we can use to help you replace negative patterns of thought and behaviors with healthy beliefs so you feel better.

Your life is the testing ground and the battlefield

Once we have a plan, the real work happens outside our sessions. I will gently nudge you to try the tools you acquire. You’ll see results and the quality of your life will start to improve. At this point, I will become more like your coach and cheerleader helping you tweak and improve the nuances of your new-found skills.

Self-esteem is only the beginning.

When you make lasting changes at the core levels of your life you’ll see improvements in your relationships, your career, and most importantly, in the way you feel about yourself.

Are you ready to get started? I’m happy to answer any questions you might have in a free phone consultation.

Reach out today! (720) 924-1140