Ultimate Guide to Couples Counseling
Everything you need to know about couples therapy.
Definitive Guide to couples and marriage counseling
This is a guide to exploring and understanding couples counseling
We made this guide to help couples answer questions about getting therapy and to help you discover if couples therapy will work for you.
We see this over and over again, the couple gets into a bad fight, and either individually or together the couple realizes that they, themselves are unable to resolve the issues on their own. Seeking out professional couples counseling is considered by many who have gone through it a last resort but it doesn’t have to be.
Psychological therapy in general is viewed as embarrassing by some but by others as a mature responsible activity that usually has many long-lasting positive effects. These positive personal self-discoveries also cross over into the personal and professional lives of those people who decide to explore their inner selves. It makes sense that personal issues would arise that block the relationship from moving forward. Change is the only constant and since a personal intimate relationship with someone else is the most common way for us to get real feedback about how the world views us as individuals.
In this guide we will discuss couples therapy techniques, couples therapy exercises, marriage counseling tips, the difference between couples counseling online and in-person, if it’s worth doing couples counseling, couples counseling movies, and how to be prepared for couples counseling if you do decide to schedule an appointment.
Why Go To Couples Counseling?
Why Go to Couples Counseling?
- Most people expect their relationship to be their primary source of intimacy, support, companionship, and a source of personal growth.
- Divorce and relationship problems are some of the most stressful conditions that we all face in life.
- People in troubled relationships are more likely to suffer from medical issues, psychological health concerns, and substance use problems.
- Couples counseling offers a safe environment to have difficult discussions, a place to learn skills that improve your relationship, and a non-biased person to provide accountability for addressing issues.
Most Common Issues Couples Complain About |
COMMUNICATION PARENTING STYLES DIFFER
MONEY IN-LAWS, STEP-FAMILY
INTIMACY, SEX ISSUES RUMINATING
AFFAIRS, BETRAYAL DIFFERENT VALUES
MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES BOUNDARIES
IN-LAWS, STEP-FAMILY STAYING FOR THE KIDS
UNMET NEEDS TRUST, EMO SAFETY
CONFLICT IS DESTRUCTIVE SUBSTANCE ABUSE
Couples Therapy Techniques
The Gottman Method
Created by husband and wife psychologists John Gottman and Julie Gottman, is built based on the findings from 40 years of scientific research about patterns of behavior in successful and unsuccessful partnerships.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
Originally designed to treat issues for individuals, CBT can be used in couples therapy by consider how your thoughts influence your behaviors. By identifying what each partner believes and their thoughts about their conflicts and finding common ground for these aspects within their relationship.
Emotional-Focused Therapy
Each partner shares specific, problematic events in the relationship, and then works to identify, explore, and make sense of the underlying emotions that are contributing to those situations. Accessing deeper emotions help identify insights about the relationship that lead to improvements.
Imago Therapy for Relationships
In this approach, we view relationship problems as a result of unmet childhood needs and unhealed wounds that later become sensitivities, conflicts, or pain points in adult relationships. By identifying these images from our childhood we can gain insights about our negative thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Understanding our childhood experiences inform how they impact our behaviors towards your partner.
Solution Focused Couples Therapy (SFT)
Solution-Focused Therapy helps clients recognize their internal resources, identify personal strengths and build on what is already working for them. Imagine a therapy session where you focus solely on the priority goals of your client and collaborate on the steps to accomplish that goal.
Discernment Counseling
Marriage Counseling Tips
Healthy Disagreement |
: Be prepared to hear their side. |
Fight Fair |
: Don’t make personal attacks. |
Assume Good Intentions |
: If you’re not sure, assume the good. |
Take Breaks from Intense Therapy |
: Time is an ally for healing. |
Commits |
: No talk about divorce. |
Couples Therapy Exercises
- Love Languages Quiz and Discussion
- Schedule Regular 1:1 Time
- Gottman Love Maps
- Hugging Until Relaxed
- Coming/Going Ritual for Traveling Partners
- Partner Yoga
- The 6 Second Kiss
- Eye Gazing
- His / Her Needs Matrix
Virtual Sessions Versus In-Person
Something is better than nothing.
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Teletherapy allows us to work together and offers some surprising benefits.
We can eliminate travel time, expenses, and increase regularity and timeliness. Also, you may find that sitting in your own space (instead of a therapist’s office) is more comfortable and private. However, In-person counseling allows for a broader band of information to be shared between couples and the therapist. Body language, subtle facial changes, and other cues difficult to detect online can make in-person therapy more personal and possibly more effective.
Convenient Couples Counseling
Many times location is one of the most important things that a couple looks at before selecting a psychotherapist because it doesn’t make sense to waste a bunch of time in the car traveling to your therapy appointment. We know that our most popular keyword is “Therapist Near Me” and “Couples Counselor Near Me”. But, that’s not the only thing that you should consider. These days online consultations are very popular and for most of our clients, we see about a 50% split between in-person and online counseling appointments. For the record, our physical location is in Lone Tree, CO which is near to Centennial, Littleton, Highlands Ranch, Englewood, and Castle Rock.
Surprises About Couples Therapy
- It’s kinda fun.
- You’ll learn skills that will help in all areas of your life.
- It’s fine to take a break or even switch therapists.
- Be patient, it takes some time.
- Collect your thoughts and be ready to share.
- You and your partner can attend individually then switch.
- It’s confidential, it’s safe, taboo topics are ok.
- It’s not the kiss of death for your relationship. It’s a new beginning.
- Relationships are alive and need occasional maintenance. Therapy is not just for a crisis.
Is Couples Counseling Worth It?
Addressing issues in your relationship is an important step on the path to feeling better. Just contacting a therapist and scheduling a session puts you in an exclusive group of people. Most couples who need help never make the call. So, thank you.
The approaches to marriage counseling mentioned above, like Emotion-Focused Therapy, or EFT, and the Gottman Method, are quite effective. EFT, for example, has a 75% success rate. The American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists reports an overall success rate of 98%. The success of couples therapy and other factors contributes to a decreasing divorce rate in the United States. Couples counseling really can save and strengthen your marriage.
Couples Counseling Movies
Books about Couples Counseling
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Contact Me
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